Myths of scarcity: “That’s just the way it is”

This is part of a series of articles that explore key ideas from The Soul of Money by Lynne Twist. This article is about the third of the three myths that she argues create our culture of scarcity: “That’s just the way it is.”

“That’s just the way it is” is the most critical myth to debunk if we are to begin to have transformative conversations about our relationship with money.

“That’s just the way it is” is a dangerous belief because it dis-empowers us from inspecting or changing our behavior. It is the myth that creates the saddest sort of human inaction: the bystander effect, NIMBY-ism, disengagement, apathy, etc.

Remember, one of our goals is to align our use of money with our values and beliefs, such that they reinforce and create each other.

“That’s just the way it is” gets in the way of that alignment by justifying our current behavior and providing a convenient excuse for inaction.

For example, if you are the type of person who tells yourself or others that you believe in climate change and you are interested in doing everything you can to combat it, you might struggle at the grocery store. You might find yourself torn between choosing the cheapest paper towels (saving yourself a couple bucks) and the more sustainably-made alternative.

This moment is exactly when we are challenged to align our financial decisions with our values.

Unfortunately, this moment is also when the third myth, “That’s just the way it is,” gets in our way.

In this critical moment, “That’s just the way it is” dis-empowers us; it makes us feel small. It whispers to you, “Buying the cheaper paper towels this time won’t kill the planet; you’re just one person;” likewise, “Buying the planet-friendly option won’t save the planet, so why spend the extra money?”

“That’s just the way it is, so move on and forget about it.”

We can all relate to the discomfort of those moments when we are forced to decide between what we should do and what is easiest.

It’s uncomfortable. It is uncomfortable because there is internal conflict between two opposing instincts.

First, there is our noble instinct: It is human to want to help, to contribute to change, to express oneself through action, and to become a better version of oneself. Second, there is always our survival instinct: It is also human to need certainty and avoid discomfort.

In that critical moment in the grocery store, when we are challenged to align our spending with our beliefs, we can be constrained by the opposing interests of these two instincts. While we are forced to pause and consider our values by the first noble instinct, the uncertainty of that very indecisiveness makes us squirm, and that second survival instinct seeks immediate relief.

It seeks relief by deploying the myth, “That’s just the way it is,” because if it can trick you into believing it, all discomfort and struggle will be eliminated. If it can trick you into believing “That’s just the way it is,” it can trick you into believing that there never really was a choice and that you were powerless all along.

That survival instinct is trying to protect you, but in reality, it is keeping you small and denying you wholeness.

Giving into that myth is too convenient an excuse for people who want to believe in their power and agency.

You may only be one person or one transaction in an economy of billions, but most likely you will repeat this sort of transaction hundreds or thousands of times throughout your life.

In order to make an impact, all we need to do is make the choice that feels right for each of us for the right reasons, not because it is easy or convenient.

We only need to make the right decision once. The rest will follow. You will feel good about your decision-making because you will have grounded it in the right principles; there won’t be any hesitation beforehand or remorse afterwards; you will easily repeat the choice again and again. Every time you make the right choice for the right reasons, you will feel that you are powerful and significant.

That is how the micro becomes the macro — when many individuals make different choices for different reasons.

“That’s just the way it is” can creep into our lives at so many other times, not only in the grocery store.

We may recognize the greatest injustices of our time (climate change, racial inequality, human rights abuses, and others) but not know what we as individuals can do about them. “That’s just the way it is” is a natural reaction to that uncertainty, but it is false.

I believe that we all know, at least to some extent, what we need to do in order to become better versions of ourselves.

The issue is that the path to that better self is fraught with discomfort and hard decisions that require self-awareness and courage. Believing in myths like “That’s just the way it is” denies us the space we need to do the hard work and take a step in the right direction.

By debunking “That’s just the way it is,” we create space for a productive conversation with ourselves or others. When faced with the uncomfortable feeling of powerlessness, our inner dialogue can become: “Yes, that is the way it is now, but it is not the way it has to be forever.”

More importantly, we can admit:

“I am not the way I have to be if things are ever to change.”

Without this myth holding us back, we can start to see opportunities and little things we can do. I promise, there are infinite little things we can each do differently that will serve our instinct to help, whether it’s buying a different type of paper towels or donating a small amount regularly to the right organization.

These small actions will not immediately resolve the biggest issues of our time, but perhaps each of us can become the kind of individual who believes and acts as if these problems can be solved.

Then, hopefully, our behavior will inspire others to do the same.

“That’s just the way it is” is the first myth we need to deconstruct if we are ever going to find the courage to make different choices for our own reasons.

This is also the first myth we need to acknowledge in order to grapple with the other two myths of scarcity, “There’s never enough” and “More is better,” which I will discuss in other articles.

This is a personal finance article of Zeneration Wealth — a platform for inspiring Gen Z to discover how money can be used in service of their values, not in place of them.

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